On the Grammy Awards

I used to do a series called Filmi Girl’s Guide for Lazy American Journalists (which served no point except to get my frustration out since Lazy Journalist is basically an oxymoron when it comes to Americans writing about Asian art) but I think this one should more properly be called Filmi Girl’s Guide for Kpop Stans Complaining About Things They Don’t Understand.

What are the Grammys?

To put it in the simplest terms, the Grammys are the award given out by the American group called the “Recording Academy” who are a private professional organization of people in the American music industry.

The Grammy Awards have a long and very checkered past of things like not awarding the people actually doing ground breaking work (detailed very well in the linked article by Nick Keppler in the Village Voice, which had their own award that I would consider a far higher honor), treating both Black artists and the music they made like garbage, and quarantining music created by and for the very large Spanish-speaking market in the United States as if it was not fit to be seen in public despite the fact that if you look at actual record sales Latin artists are crushing so-called “mainstream” acts in sales.

Why should we care about the Grammys?

Good question. It’s my firm opinion that you shouldn’t. But don’t take my word for it.

Here is what one of the wisest men in the music business, Frank Zappa, had to say back in the 80s about the Grammy Awards when he was nominated in one of those gestures that the Grammy Awards does to artists who are controversial but who have managed to claw out a niche audience big enough to have gained the respect of the men who count the money:

"The night before the Grammys, I was interviewed on CBS. They edited my 12 minutes down to eight. Basically, what I said was, the Grammys are a farce. They wouldn't be so bad if the people who ran them wouldn't try to make them out to be something they aren't. They have nothing to do with merit. The real criteria are record sales or if the person is your friend. They have nothing to do with quality work in music in the United States, but they keep pretending it is something else, and that bothers me.

And here is what outspoken member of the Black Keys Patrick Carney had to say just last year on the Joe Rogan podcast:

Ultimately, Carney said they’d return if asked, but to hear the drummer tell it, there’s not much reward at the end of the line. As Carney told Rogan: “None of my favorite bands have f–ing Grammys. The Clash don’t have a f–ing Grammy. … What is a f–ing Grammy? Like, what is this sh–? We’re just j—ing ourselves off and congratulating ourselves. Does anybody watch this sh– that really cares about us? I don’t think so.”

He also said that Warner Records told the group when they were up for record of the year for “Lonely Boy” that if they won, a plan was in place to cross the song over to top 40 radio — which he’s thankful didn’t happen. “If we would have won that Grammy, it could have f—ed our whole band up. I’ve seen it happen with lots of bands. You become playschool level. We wouldn’t have changed, but the thing is, you start acquiring a fan base that’s more fickle and maybe more annoying.”

Okay, so why do people make a big deal about the Grammys then?

Well, I don’t know if “people” make a big deal about the Grammy Awards as much as the American entertainment media likes to hype them up as the Biggest Night in Music because it’s automatic #content for the relentless media cycle. You get to talk nominations, snubs, controversies, etc. and to be fair it’s probably the biggest television audience you’ll get as a musician in America outside of the Super Bowl.

But what I want to make clear is that the audience watching the Grammys is an audience invested in mainstream American music industry as kind of a… fantasy football league. The actual mainstream audience in America has long been atomized out of existence, alienated by an entertainment industry increasingly making products either so devoid of real meaning that they can play everywhere from Taipei to Monaco to Nome, Alaska without issue or targeted at a small but very loud niche of cultural circle-jerking middlebrow media outlets which dutifully declare them capital I important and everybody that listens to Fresh Air or reads the New York Times Arts section rushes out to download it from iTunes.

These are conveniently also the two categories of art that get nominated for the Grammy Awards.

The Grammy Awards could not be more irrelevant to actual people going about their lives and just enjoying the music they enjoy.

But isn’t it a big deal that BTS are going to be on stage at the Grammys?

No. And quite frankly, it’s embarrassing that they’re going on stage at the Grammys. This isn’t a stepping stone to something bigger. They will appear on stage backing up Lil Nas X along with “Achy Breaky Heart” singer and long time cultural punchline Billy Ray Cyrus (now known mostly as Miley’s Dad) and the yodeling kid. This is a clown show. And I believe the members are aware it’s a clown show.

But they said their dream was to perform at the Grammys. So, why shouldn’t I just be excited for them to have made it there?!

Ah, I’ve said this before but you have to keep in mind context. They said this on the Grammys red carpet press scrum and you have to keep in mind the very high possibility that they said it because that is what was expected of them to say at the Grammy Awards. Look, my friends, I’ve explained about kayfabe and one thing you really have to keep in mind is that BTS is not Frank Zappa or Patrick Carney with the freedom to just say whatever. They are more like WWE wrestlers who are contractually obligated not to break kayfabe and tell you that it’s all fake. Was it their dream to perform at the Grammys? Maybe. But considering that they are seven Korean men from Korea, the majority of whom had seemingly little interest in the American music industry for most of their lives, we have to assume that it’s a far likelier possibility that they were just being polite when they said it was a dream come true.

Shut up, Filmi Girl. I hate you. This is the most amazing thing that has ever happened ever.

Counterpoint: No, it’s not. It’s embarrassing to be begging for the approval and attention of a group of industry insiders who just this week have been exposed for all sorts of heinous things.

Here’s a wild thought-- the stuff you like and enjoy is not less valid for not being validated by a bunch a self-appointed industry gatekeepers. Stop begging for their attention.

So what if Kpop never gains the approval of those guys? Literally who cares. Let them have their circle-jerk and we can jop to our hearts content in our own fandom spaces. And if at some point in 20 years they want to give a token award symbolizing the impact of one Lee Taemin or Min Yoongi or Kwan Jiyong on global music then let the Recording Academy beg.

The Recording Academy only has the importance that we give it. There are a million different awards around the world and plenty of television shows that draw a much higher audience. Stop playing the game on the Recording Academy’s terms and make them play on ours.

(Originally posted January 25, 2020)