Response to David Mitchell on BTS

I’ve written tens of thousands of words on this subject and yet I keep coming back because I keep finding examples of journalists writing from a place of authority about something they know nothing about. Our culprit this time is writer David Mitchell (of Cloud Atlas fame) condescendingly writing about attending a BTS concert.

Already we know we’re in for a real treat at this:

My Official BTS light stick – a Bluetooth-enabled plastic orb – flickers in my hand like a firefly on acid in unison with the tens of thousands of others in the stadium. (For still-mysterious reasons I just paid £45 for this piece of kit – take that, Take That!)

The light stick is an essential part of creating the concert atmosphere not just an expensive souvenir. If you don’t understand that much, you have no place writing a review of an idol concert. And the name drop to Take That basically gives us all we need to know about Mr. Mitchell. His frame of reference for BTS is a hey-let’s-not-be-too-flashy and very no-sex-please-we're-English boy band who had their heyday in the early 1990s and who specialized in extremely gentle mid-tempo ballads like Back For Good.

But let’s keep going.

It isn’t wrong to describe this septet of collectables as a boy band, but that label is far from the whole story. Yes, the fanbase’s X chromosomes massively outnumber its Ys. Yes, the band wear foundation and lip-gloss and are exquisitely tailored. But the “greater band” includes producers and songwriters (the line is blurry), choreographers, set and costume designers, video directors, social-media handlers, and comprise a formidable, world-class creative and business organism. Songs are credited to several authors.

And here we have Mr. Mitchell discovering the concept of the “idol group” in much the way Silicon Valley discovered the “city bus”. That is to say, just because you weren’t aware of the concept doesn’t mean it never existed before you noticed it. IDOL GROUPS HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS. It’s not a new thing. The “world class creative and business organism” may as well be the log line for Japan’s Johnny’s & Associates and South Korea’s “Big Three”. It’s like this guy never even heard of “Fantastic Baby” or “Sherlock” let alone checked out any of SMAP or Arashi or V6 or Shinhwa’s decades long careers. And yet he feels entitled to write from a place of authority about the subject. Strange how that works...

Surprising literary references appear in the band’s group and solo work, from Carl Jung and Hermann Hesse to Ursula le Guin and Douglas Adams. RM, the band’s thematic pathfinder and bibliophile, could talk about concept albums with the glitteriest of 1970s prog rockers. It’s a long, long way from the Monkees, Westlife or One Direction. [Emphasis added]

Alright and here I’m going to get on my Monkees soap box. I am REALLY fucking tired of the Monkees being kicked around as some sort of joke by pretentious assholes who think they know everything about music because they listened to “alternative rock” in 1994 while all the “sheeple” were playing Take That.

THE MONKEES WERE ACTUALLY VERY SMART AND GOOD. The bias against them comes from morons who think that a) anything liked by predominantly women is bad somehow and lazy thinkers who b) refuse to admit that “authenticity” in mass art is a complete lie cooked up by marketing departments.

Here’s the truth about the Monkees: the four members were talented improv performers and musicians who made some great television, made a lot of great songs, and were extremely savvy about show business. They collaborated with FRANK ZAPPA (and if that doesn’t get your outsider cred seeking nuts tingling Mr. Mitchell, I don’t know what will). The Monkees themselves were haunted their entire lives by the stigma put on them by an American culture that called them worthless and meaningless. Their movie Head was a psychedelic daydream more meaningful and political than a lot of “serious” stuff coming out back then and featured an incredible soundtrack including one of my all time favorites: “The Porpoise Song”:

The visuals of falling into the water are echoed by BTS in Butterfly and the subject matter of sea mammals may as well have been taken directly from RM’s brain... except this was decades earlier.

But if you won't listen to me, maybe you should listen to one of your fellow white guys in Economist sing the praises of Monkee Mike Nesmith.

And for God’s sake, last year SHINee released a 3 part (trilogy!) album that drew inspiration from The Little Prince or let’s go further back. Want me to tell you all the talented poets and writers who penned lyrics for groups like the Tigers or the Four Leaves in Japan in the 1960s and 1970s? How A.B.C-Z’s Totsuka Shota drops references to his favorite author Isaka Kotaro in almost everything he does. Just because One Direction sang vapid C-grade material written by Simon Cowell’s old industry buddies and you don’t know who Yasui Kazumi is but you do get the Jung reference doesn’t mean that every other idol group in the world is stupid. It just means that Big Hit was savvy enough to know that lazy English-language critics wouldn’t bother googling Min (“Suga”) Yoongi’s favorite group “Epik High” when talking about Map of the Soul.

And they were right.

A close relationship with fans is no new thing, but BTS have taken artist-admirer intimacy to Himalayan heights. Band members have a social-media presence that goes back years, so that to join Army is to gain access to a sort of reality-TV channel dealing with the curated trials and triumphs of the road to stardom.

Again, this is not unique to BTS. Many other idol groups do this.

Many fans talk of being helped personally by the positive messages espoused by BTS’s more recent material, and in a world where perfection is incessantly demanded from young women, it is easy to understand the attraction of seven ever-courteous demigods who sing and talk about self-esteem, self-respect and loving yourself as you are.

“Ever-courteous demigods”.

*insert eye-rolling emoji*

Just fuck off with this condescending garbage. You're the type of man that women were fleeing when Dionysus called us from our homes to go revel in the woods.

But as I drift down Olympic Way with tens of thousands of humans who just had one of the best nights of their young lives, my daughter and niece among them, that cynic can go take a hike.

This last bit I can agree with. Going to a concert can be a transcendental experience. I’ve experienced it and written about it many, many times over. The fact that the concert magic could affect even a lazy, close-minded thinker like Mr. Mitchell speaks volumes for its power. But that doesn’t excuse this piece of shit “review”.

I am so very, very tired of men like Mr. Mitchell waltzing into a female-driven fandom--especially one where the majority of source material is in a language they do not speak and a culture they have no understanding of--and putting themselves in a position to pass judgement. 

I don’t care what Mr. Mitchell has done in the past but he is not an authority on idol groups, let alone english-language boy bands and their female-driven fandoms, and the fact that he even felt qualified to write this garbage speaks volumes to the state of English-language arts criticism.

The actual content of the show is glossed over in a single sentence. Think about that:

After two hours of stadium-friendly BTS hits, inflatable metallic leopards, video content, five-star choreography, Jin’s 25th century piano, a flying Jungkook, fireworks, confetti cannons and streamer-geysers, the show ends with a 20-minute avowal of lifelong love from each of the members to the assembled Army.

A single sentence on the content of the concert in the entire “review”? How does that showing respect for BTS as performers and artists? It doesn’t. Now tell me why I should listen to this guy’s opinion on anything?

(Originally posted June 6, 2019)