Response to an Endhiran review

(Note from the future: The original review is no longer available but there’s an archived one here. )

From a simple glance at Roger Moore’s smirking photo on the banner of his blog at the Orlando Sentinel, I am convinced that his review will be chock full of lazy Western film school stereotypes about Indian film and misinformed hack journalism. I am not wrong.

Let’s begin at the beginning: “The first song Aishwarya Rai sings, she hits notes that would fetch most dogs on the Subcontinent to her, or make Westerners wonder about the use of helium off camera.” 

Point one—that isn’t actually Aishwarya Rai singing. Anyone even vaguely familiar with the conventions of any of the Indian popular cinemas would know that. See, there is this thing called “playback singing,” which allows us to enjoy good actors and dancers that may not have great singing voices to become big stars and (mostly) saves us from good singers who are forced into acting because they want to perform. In “playback singing,” a singer records a song for the actor to lip sync to. Nobody in the intended audience for Endhiran is under any illusion that this is Aishwarya Rai’s actual singing voice.

“Rajinikanth is a 60 year old Tamil superstar who may seem, to some Western eyes, like a Tamil Elvis impersonator—a bit paunchy and helmet-haired and too old for such silliness.” 

Okay, so by “some Western eyes” Mr. Moore means himself? And while perhaps Rajinikanth is a bit too old for the Hero roles, there are other ways to say it then by linking his performance to that of an Elvis impersonator. What this says to me is that Mr. Moore walked into the film expecting a Camp Classic and viewed everything through that lens, not bothering to take the film on its own terms and delve into the interesting material there. A more apt comparison would be of Sly Stallone kicking butt in The Expendables or Bruce Willis in the upcoming RED if Mr. Moore needed a Hollywood analogy for the older but still virile Superstar Rajini. 

“The robot (“Endhiran” means “robot”) speaks with a synthesized mechanical voice, and can cook, clean, break dance, fight, drive, compute and help Sana cheat on her tests, which makes her warm to him. Pity he still looks like a Tamil Elvis impersonator clothed by J.C. Penney.” 

Again with the attacks on Superstar Rajini. And why the specific attack on Chitti’s clothes as being from J.C. Penney? What should the robot have been wearing? Commes des Garcons? Tommy Hilfiger? This kind of snobbish attack on the price tag of an actor’s clothes is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. If Mr. Moore had thought at all about it, instead of wanting to prove that he is somehow superior to Rajinikanth because he apparently is too good for J.C. Penney, he might have thought that maybe making jokes about the price of clothes in India—where the average person doesn’t make nearly as much money as he does typing out ill-informed reviews—is a little insensitive. 

“Despite its sci-fi story and effects, Endhiran is old school Bollywood — silly, overlong and packed with tunes.” 

No. Endhiran is not old-school BOLLYWOOD. Old-school Bollywood is in Hindi and most likely stars Raj, Shammi, Shashi, Garam Dharam, or Amitabh. There would be an item song and lots more posturing by the villain. Plus, there would be a comedy track. What Endhiran is, is a slick, fast-paced update on the classic masala formula with lots of philosophical asides on the nature of humanity and a heavy dose of A.R. Rahman. And while there is lots of levity, the film is far from “silly.” Also, it is only over-long by the standards of somebody used to the cinematic oeuvre of Adam Sandler. 

“What makes this a good intro-to-Bollywood comedy is its pacing, and the toe-tapping Indo-pop production numbers. Over three hours you can duck in and out (it’s showing at the Cinemark Festival Bay, at premium ticket prices), hit the snack bar, the restrooms, and not miss enough to lose the plot. Such as it is.”

NO! It is absolutely not a good intro-to-Bollywood comedy for these reasons:

1. Endhiran is not a Bollywood film.

2. Endhiran depends on at least some working knowledge of masala conventions and SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth.

3. Endhiran is not a comedy and if you go in expecting to laugh at everything—including the serious stuff—you will swiftly get tired and overstimulated. Masala conventions are not inherently funny if you aren’t a giant douchebag who goes to movies to laugh at things other people like. (In other words, it's only hilariously stupid if you don’t understand it.)

Also, if you are “ducking in and out of the film”, you are going to be missing the nuances offered from the great script by Shankar and Sujatha. While there certainly are films you can miss a good 20 minutes of (*cough* Race), Endhiran is not one of them.

Everything about Roger Moore’s review is an epic failure except his appreciate for Aishwarya Rai’s charms. She is, indeed, a very pretty woman. While I am glad to see Indian films get broader recognition, this kind of lazy writing just infuriates me. There are other ways to assemble a film than the one that comes out of Los Angeles, California.

Whether or not a film is truly the product of the film industry in Mumbai may not matter to Mr. Moore, the distinction is important to the people most likely to attend a Bollywood (or “Bollywood” film: the NRI audience. Hindi, Tamil, Punjabi, Telugu, Kannada, Bengali, Malayam... the distinction is important to people. I wonder if Mr. Moore would be so cavalier about the differences between Korean and Japanese films or if he would say: “Whatever. It’s all Chinese to me.” Robert Ebert says that a good review analyzes the film for its target audience—this review does nothing for the people who would actually see it. And on top on that, if Mr. Moore's desire was to inform Western viewers about Endhiran, he did a really poor job.

(Originally posted October 8, 2010)

Note from the future: Please enjoy my favorite type of video, the “Theater Response” for the trailer of Endhiran.